FUCK YOU!

I just feel like cursing at the whole fuckin world right now. I know i'm not suposed to let my anger get the best of me, but I'm seriously irritated. I'm so ready to get the fuck out of my house, and away from everybody who lives out here. I don't care if you're one of my bests, I just HAVE to get out of here. I usually don't care, but just today I'm heated. I don't give a fuck about school, i don't give a fuck about males, i don't give a fuck about ANYTHING accept how to calm myself down. I hope this writing helps because I already went off on 2 people today. I'm just...soooo angry. Everything is pissing me off right now. Its starting to rain outside and honestly, I'm getting mad cause i fucking HATE the rain! I just wanna tell everyone to go fuck themselves case quite frankly i don't give a shit about anything! Life really isn't fair. Good things happen to bad people, and bad things happen to good people. Lazy people get shit that HARD WORKING people NEVER get, or never see. The rich steal from the poor, and the poor NEVER get a break. Dirty cops put away good people, and they go out and celebrate. People who don't get what they work hard for and have been praying for for years see people who just wanted it "just cause" take it from them! And this is why sometimes, I can't see why people put all their trust in God. Why would something that is good stand for evil? Or maybe evil just overuns the good. Sometimes, i think what evil makes things seem evil because you believe they are that way. I don't know. Maybe it's just cause i'm angry that i feel this way. I doubt I'll feel this way tmrw unless someone makes me angry or it rains tmrw. GOODNIGHT!

Alexz Johnson-Time To Be Your 21 (this song is my LIFE)

You never lied to me not once
Its not your fault that I cant trust
Its in my past, its in my path and I can't go there
Making a mess out of this game
To see it all go up in flames
So tired of being ruthless and wreckless
Time to be your only one
To almost be you're way too young
Time to crash into the sun
Time to be your 21
Time to dream that love will last
Time to drive my car too fast
Time to walk before I run
Time to be
Ohh time to be your 21
I don't believe in love and I
I pull it to the wall
I tasted sweetness there to laugh so hard as it falls
And I could push you there if you don't stop me
Push you there if you don't stop me
Please stop me
Time to be your only one
To almost be you're way too young
Time to crash into the sun
Time to be your 21
Time to dream that love will last
Time to drive my car too fast
Time to walk before I run
Time to be
Ohh time to be your 21
Its gut wrenching sometimes
Its life threatening sometimes
Seems like nothing can wash it all away
Time to be your only one
To almost be you're way too young
Time to crash into the sun
Time to be your 21
Time to dream that love will last
Time to drive my car too fast
Time to walk before I run
Time to be your 21

Path Less Walked.

So I'm sitting here listening to Let Go by Ne-Yo. Free by Destiny's Child and Tears On My Pillow apply as well. I'm just so amazed. After i wrote my first blog, i realized that's only most of me. It's not always a facade, it's fact.

Here's the storyline:

I was the hopeless little girl.
The girl who'd heard fairytales, and believed them to be true
And i knew truth as i knew love
And love knew my heart well,
Love and my heart were compatible
After the chaotic sounds of broken glass
The voices calmed down and settled with the winds
And the fairytale princess' eyes grew enlarged with hope
Animosity had been caged, imprisoned
As my heart was, unjustified
Content with living life as an animal, dealing with the world
Shivering from a cold reality
And torn up and down brick by brick
And every vain ripped from the heart
Her heart was cold, bloodless, lifeless
And he was the doctor who saved me
Jumped in and saved my crying heart
Yes, it wanted to die and drag its beloved soul and memories with it
But he, revived me and there i was
A feline, living a second life
How the world turned him to me
In turn my eyes were engaged in oceans and skies unimaginable
And grasses
Flowers that bloomed on fields of lilac
And joyous fingers that shaded in joyous moments
Fulfilled with happiness and a zealous mind
But behind stilled shades, a criminal lie under the doctor
The same doctor who'd give his life for his patient
For her to live in love, and love life once more
Who held her hand and painted her face and hair with courage
The late night uncovered the hidden parts of a uncared for body
Uncaressed and unloved
Under the light of the moon, her bristled hairs were softened
And legs used as pliers gripped
Lips gasping for more pink life
And in turn she filled his dimlit head with light
Day after day, and month after month
Time became an hour glass, unflipped and unwatched
As fast as her hair had been christened by his lips
She heard the sirens of animosity
Heart failure was ensured but hold on and forever were grinding in her temples
Words and actions that cut like daggers of the beloved shakespeare characters
Her heart spilled as wine does, love drunk
The sand tipped its end and was with the simple HATE
Onto the road she'd so known of games and lust
She traveled that road and detoured to the doctors sanctuary
New beginnings started
How his words devastated and actions caused chain reactions unbelievable
As mistakes were unforgivable
Inside the little girl, and epiphany rose as an asterik
Of great importance, her knowledge had become
Stars and planets and God had blessed her with sense
The little girl fell as the woman rised
Keeping her love and painting fingers to herself
Holding her own hand and laying her head on her own shoulders
And tears that had so ran as the Nile, disappeared
Time did not sacrafice itself, and detours were closed
The road had not been walked
And the woman was strong.
Despair of a man no longer touched the woman.
She realized,
The sand had evaporated as did the sand glass.

Love life of a Man?

Well, this is my first Blog. Today was hazy, but not in a dazed blissful kind of way, just tired. Anywho, I'm pretty excited that i only have 3 months of school (really 2 because of spring break). I'm listening to Studio Luv Remix =). Blaaaah, idk what else to say? Oh ! Best tip of the day ( think i should give one of these in every blog )

Tip of the Day: Guys should NOT ask girls for pictures. I mean ask once, you're a tool, but keep asking and then get mad if she doesn't, you're a desperate douchebag. It's really not that serious.

I mean maybe it's just me? I get really annoyed when guys ask for pictures. Its like dude, if I'm about to see you like tomorrow, why do you need a picture? Guys just come up with dumb things. I read Steve Harvey's book about how to think like guys. I learned a LOT. I read that guys basically need sex. No matter if they love the person they plan on spending their lives with, they'll have sex with other women if given the opportunity so they feel "wanted" and "still attractive" and haven't lost their youth and MANHOOD most importantly. According to them, sex has nothing to do with love, nor emotions. To tell you the truth, yeah, it's happened to some of us, where we just needed a physical need to be met and I'll admit, I've done it before and have completely forgotten that it happened because it was just for one thing. I think I'm really noticing how much like a guy I really am. It's actually kinda scaring me? Lol. I mean, I can do something intimate and honestly not care if I talk to that person ever again. I'm not a total Sex & the City Samantha here, more like Miranda when I like guys, Samantha when I have needs, and Charlotte when I'm in a relationship. Miranda is the type who finds a perfectly good guy who does all the wrong things like even mentioning THAT four letter word "LOVE" after only 4 weeks. That is such a turnoff. I'd rather talk about family plan for the guy than talk about love. Don't bring up commitment either, it'll fall into place. NEVER ask how long it takes to fall in love. How can you put a clock on love? It's impossible. As many guys as I've ran through (dating wise), I just know what the whole commitment talk means. If I feel like being mushy, I'll initiate it. It depends. I have a hard time dating good boys. I mean, I know its best for me, but I automatically think they're pushovers, and mushy, and will buy me everything. I don't want a pushover! I want a little bit of a challenge, but be sweet. I know i'm totally rambling. I think i'll get further into THAT conversation in the next blog. Adios for now!